Thou shalt fly without wings...

I've always been enamored with horses. From my first pony, to years on Tennessee Walking horse farm, to totem animals devined by a Druid over candlelight, my heart has always belonged to a horse. This weekend in Kentucky at the Derby and the Horse Park only cemented what my heart has known for years...when everything else in the world is wrong there is sense and order and peace in the presence of a horse. Nothing says is better than the Bedouin legend I read this weekend....

And the Creator took a
handful of the
Southern Breeze
blew His breath over it, and
created the horse.
He said to the magnificent
creature,
"I have made thee as no other.
All the treasures of the earth
lie between thy eyes.
Thou shall carry my friends upon
thy back.
Thy saddle shall be the seat
of prayers to me.
Thou shall fly without wings,
and conquer without any sword.
Oh, horse."
~ Bedouin Legend ~

Mark in off!!!

 “Civ­i­liza­tion begins with dis­til­la­tion.”  William Faulkner


We're going to the Derby.  One more thing off the bucket list and one great weekend road trip lie ahead.  We'll see if Faulkner got anything right...if so, his point should be proven in Kentucky!

OK, I admit it...

I'm jealous.  Pretty insanely jealous. I'm surrounded by pregnant women and babies and it seems like I'm the only one who isn't pregnant. I fought through it for a while, plastered on smiles and doled out congratulations. But come on! My students are having babies!!! People I know never wanted children are having babies!! I have no more politeness left.

 Obviously, I've been slacking on the yoga or eating the wrong food because all my grace and light seems to have been sucked into a dark vortex somewhere in the land of the infertile.

 Is it too much to just want to be normal for once? For something to be simple and to happen when it is suppose to happen?

Apparently, it is.  I'm trying to be cool about it. To not freak out at every wave of nausea or whiff of rancid meat....to not be that girl that gets her hopes up every month only to crawl in the bed and refuse to get out for a week afterward because her body let her down again. But I'm so not cool right now. I'm mean and moody, and angry, and generally no fun to be around....which probably isn't helping matters at all. Hard to get pregnant when you make Attila the Hun look normal.

Maybe I need more sparkle in my life. Or more school. Or more work. Or just enough more to take my mind off what is missing.

Long road trip tomorrow....here's to hoping it knocks the crazies loose from my head and leaves me with a little more grace when I return. Or at least a little less whine.

Really???

I'm completely worthless today...

I mean really...how can I be expected to think and work when it is three days until the epic, halfway across the country with nothing but a hammock, bourbon and lil sister DerbyAdventure begins?

Really, people?

So my brain is adrift in a sea of images conjured up by a weekend wedding, derby hats, and general awesomeness....it looks something like this....